If I ever see any of you in public, the code is “I like your shoelaces”
that way we know we’re from tumblr without revealing anything
I’m just going to say this to strangers until i find a tumblr person
must keep reblogering!! Im going to be so suspicious if any one tells me this now!
Remember the answer is: I stole them from the president.
Miley Cyrus should have been naked on the ball as it dropped
there’s an old man on my bus wearing a sparkly devil horn headband i don’t understand
now he’s wearing a hot dog hat this is not a drill
i’m putting on my dinosaur hat we can be hat friends
he got off at the same stop as me and waited for me to get off the bus so he could laugh and shake my hand and then he just walked away without a word this is the weirdest day of my life
I only listen to common sense if it includes nasty language
i.e I was loading firewood into the house from my side yard and I was asking my dad how much wood to bring. I then asked him if I could pee out there while i was at it, but he said I’d freeze myself. I was almost out the door ready to pee when my mom yelled ” If you pee out there you’ll freeze your dick off and it’ll fall off ” and I turned around and owed inside
My housemate is a geneticist and she plans to use her degree to create a goldfish sized whale.
Did she also consider a whale sized goldfish?
The concept was deemed terrifying.
Try flushing that down the toilet once it dies